I'm too little?

That's not really something that I'm used to.

Before I get into the subject matter, I wanted to update: The 2lbs I gained and 7cm around my abdomen? Yeah, just kidding. Apparently I was retaining a lot of water because I ended up 4lbs below that a couple of days later and down 5cm. 

Moving on...

Here's the secret. I was kind of afraid I would still be above 150 by the Cohasset Tri in June. I've been waffling over asking to change race categories from age group to novice. Then I realized, if it was getting close to race time and I knew I'd still be 150+, I could change to race as an Athena. Athenas are women athletes who weigh in at 150 or above and race against that category. Men 200+ can race as Clydesdales.

Based on past times, I would have a very good chance of actually placing in the top 3. Now, I have mixed feelings on that. I feel like I would be so excited to win/place in any way, but I also feel like it would never be enough. Don't get me wrong. I know a few women who are very fit (and fast!) who could race as an Athena because they are also fairly tall. 150 is not necessarily overweight for everyone, although it is a bit for me at my height. The thing is, not everyone who could register as one does. It just feels kind of weird to me. It's a weight based racing class that doesn't include everyone that COULD race in it, unlike age groups. I guess I'd love to win. However, I'd also know that I couldn't place outright in my age group and that if every person who could register as an Athena did, I'd have no chance at that either. On the OTHER hand (that's like 3 hands now...can I borrow one?), if I have the courage to step on the scale at the race, let them mark an A on my leg and run my face off, then I guess I did earn it.

Turns out, all that over-thinking was for nothing. USA Triathlon voted in April 2012 (ooops...didn't get that memo. Actually I probably did. Ha) to increase the weight minimum to 165 for Athena and 220 for Clydes. Sigh...I wasn't even at 165 after my Christmas-human-vacuum mode. They increased the limits because athletes are bigger and stronger than ever. Not fatter bigger, but taller and more muscular. I guess that's fair. I'm only 5'4" and 150 would put me just a couple of lbs above the weight range for my height. There are plenty of people taller than me. 

 So that's weird. I never really felt like I wouldn't have that option. It's kind of bittersweet. Most women would be so happy to fall under that line! I felt like I'd be a little sad to do it myself. I'd guess it's a comfort zone thing for me. I'm comfortable with the Athenas and I don't want to let them go. It's who I've been my whole life (except for like 2 days in 2008 right before I got married...haha). At the same time, I'm sure I'd end up holding myself back. I've already lit a fire by really committing to getting to the gym 5 times a week and working out hard. I figured out how to eat healthy without being crazy-food-tracker-lady. If anything, finding out about this change right now is really pushing me. I just really want to work harder. I'm letting it go and it's not easy.

For the rest of you Athenas, whether your body fat is 20% or 40%. Be proud. Hold your head high. Have fun!