I'm looking forward to a new year. I generally don't make resolutions on New Year's Eve. I like to try and work on stuff all year round. Also: I generally don't get it right, right away so my resolutions wouldn't last long! However, the timing kind of works out right that this week I am ready for a change. Or, I'm at least ready to put what I want to work on out there.
1. One of the biggest things I feel I missed out on is being here more. I read through most of my old posts and I regret not having this year recorded. 2012 was an amazing and also, really difficult year for me. I don't have a lot of readers, but I know some of you wanted to know more and I left you hanging. I am sorry about that. To those who told me how much they enjoy reading what I write, I really appreciate it! I think of funny things I want to write about all the time and then don't. What's my deal?!
2. The difficult times have taught me a lot. I was having some major growing pains with my job (natural for my field) and had many days where I wasn't sure if I was going to find how I fit in. I've had some great supports along the way and some opportunities to learn more while staying with my current employer. That's a great thing. I really like my coworkers and what I do!
More importantly, I learned to appreciate the moment much better than I had. I used to always be stressed about having time off, what weekends I was working, what holidays I had off, etc. I learned that the memories I have of certain times are great, but I have to look forward. Any day of the week that my friends and family and I can spend time together, where we're all healthy and happy, is a gift. I realized I was missing too much trying to make sure I wouldn't miss anything! How silly. Besides, I have been extremely fortunate with my schedule and ability to have time off. It always worked out in the end.
I plan on trying to remember that and get even better at it.
3. I have to stop believing my own BS. I had a boss (it was actually my bosses boss) who had an expression. "Stop believing your own bullshit." I loved her frankness. She also really believed in all of us and I owe some of my courage to put myself out there to her. I still think of that phrase, because it's so relevant. Specifically, I need to lose this weight. Not to look better, not to wear certain clothes, but to be who I really feel I am. This is not me. I have been BSing myself that I can over eat, have sweets and drink wine if I eat healthy all day. So, I want to show up at the Cohasset Triathlon (second sprint tri!) this June without the limitations I haven't been able to shake.
Since our NYE dinner is ready, I'm going to finish this up.
Happy New Year, everyone!