Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Seriously...where have I been?

Awwwwww maaaaaaaan...I did it again. I don't know how I expect the many nine people who follow this blog to stay interested if I don't post anything, never mind follow up on my goals. we are:

Weight: I'm down 5lbs! It's been about 5 weeks, so that's pretty good. At this point, even a 1lb average is good for me. I am not particularly shy about how much I weigh, but for some reason I shied away from actually posting it on here. But, why? Maybe it will help someone.

When I started to really try and lose weight in 2006 I had hit a high of 179.8. I was pretty shocked. I'm only 5'4" and I was 0.2 from a "weight decade" I had never seen. I really didn't want to cross that line and didn't fully understand how exactly I got there. I think I was just in denial. I love food! I just needed to love a little less of it. My husband is 10 inches taller than me. I needed to remember that I don't get to eat as much food as he does. The number was the slap in the face I needed.

People always want to know what I did that finally worked. I tried many different diets, but in the long run it was pretty simple. Eat less, move more and eat real food. Definitely eat lots of veggies! I keep really tight tabs on my sodium and added sugar. Now, even if I eat the proper amount of calories, but it's junk food instead of healthy food, I won't see the weight loss. I really have to be diligent. I use Livestrong to track my food and workouts and every so often my trainer makes me write all of it out so she can go over it. The biggest difference was the rest of my life. This time around I had running and a very supportive fitness community. I joined the gym and got more competitive with myself about how fast I was running. I had my trainer and all of my friends, of all shapes and sizes, who were running, biking 100 miles, swim/bike/running or just trying to he healthier. The perfect example? As I'm writing this section about the support I have, my trainer texts me to ask how I was feeling. I had one of those days where my form was crap, I was exhausted and I didn't feel well. I really didn't do a great job and was frustrated that I couldn't pull it together. I think I was hoping for sympathy, but I didn't NEED it. I needed to get my butt kicked.

As of this moment I weigh 152.5. I am supposed to be down to 149.9 or lower by 1/1/12. THAT is going to be hard. The ultimate goal is 140. 145 is the top of the weight range for my height, but I will probably need to lose more than that to have a healthy body fat percentage. So, before anyone jumps all over me about the numbers, and that 152 isn't honestly that bad, the body fat % is a big part of what the goal is. 140 will be the point where we will stop, reevaluate and make a new, and probably final, goal. It's possible that 140 is final. I don't really know. In my entire adult life, that I've owned a scale and cared, I haven't weighed less than 147. I don't have a personal experience to base my goal on. I don't want anyone to think I'm all, "boo hoo...I have to lose weight." I'm happy with myself the way I am. I just want to be fitter and healthier. It wasn't until I accepted that it's possible to be okay with yourself and have the desire to improve, however much improvement is needed, that it started to stick. It's kind of hard to be good to your body with healthy food and exercise while giving yourself the stink-eye!

On to running: I did not do so well with this. I tried. I trained even though I had to drag myself there, but two weeks before the Turkey Trot I got super sick. I had a head cold for a week that turned into the never-ending chest cold/cough. I ran it anyway and matched my old PR to the second. I guess I should be happy that I can match my old PR when I feel like death, even if its almost 3 minutes slower than I know I am capable of. My last 5K of the year is this Sunday's Jingle Bell Run in Somerville. I just plan on running it for fun and will chase the sub 29 next year.

Speaking of next year...I signed up for a triathlon! I'm doing the Boston Triathlon on August 12th next summer. I'm suuuuuper excited! That is obviously going to be the big thing I focus on. If I completely lose my mind, I may do a spring half marathon, but I don't want to be training for a fall one through part of the tri training. It's a sprint distance tri, which means a 1/4 mile swim, 9 mile bike ride and 4 mile run in that order. So now I'm getting a bike for Christmas and need to find somewhere to swim pronto! Anyone want to give me lessons on form? It also means that I'm going to be tired, really tired, and that's fantastic! The further away from training for my half I've been, the worse I sleep. Two nights ago I got in bed and stared at the ceiling the entire night. Well, except for the fews times I got up and tried to reset my brain to GO THE F TO SLEEP. It was awful. I didn't sleep for even a minute. It's the weirdest thing to not have the mental reset of falling asleep and waking up, no matter how brief it is. I'm going to try and get back to the mileage I was doing in the middle of my half plan, back when I was tired but not yet at the point where tears were involved. Back when my husband would come home in the middle of the day and find me sound asleep, halfway off the couch. It's pretty sad that I have to work so hard to tired my brain out, but it is what it is! I call it the Brain Troll. It's like I'm invaded by this little monster that marches around my brain and is like, "think about this now! What? Why isn't tomorrow's dinner important at 3am?! WELL, THINK ABOUT THIS THEN!" Imma get you, Brain Troll. Better pack your bags!

Well, that's it for now I guess! I missed it here while I was taking an accidental hiatus, so I'm really going to try and be better about that. Maybe I'll actually take AND post pictures here too!

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